She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
