Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
that's an acceptable place to lick
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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