I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
