Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm so fucking centered right now
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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