oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
