I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
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