I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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