Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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