We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
