Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
