Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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