were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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