I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
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