the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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