people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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