there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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