FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
please come you make the beer taste better
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am midnight drunk by noon
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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