hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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