Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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