She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize