yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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