take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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