I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
