I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
