I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
its liver damage thursday
Randomize