yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
