aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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