i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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