Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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