Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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