I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
