You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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