I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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