Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
