Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
