I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize