Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
