You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
