I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You're like the curious george of whores
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
