so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
