still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The air was thick with penises
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
