Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
