Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My pussy is not your playground.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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