The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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