I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
