margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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