I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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