best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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