I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
