You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
