hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
