I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize
