and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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