She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
