I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Let's get the cat blown out
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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