If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
