i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize