Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
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Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
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If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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