I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
you never un-have a 4some
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
