funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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