Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
